E110 - Active Listening featuring Simon Kardynal

In the fast-paced world of leadership, we often hear the saying, "Communication is key."

When we talk about communication skills for leaders, we often focus on articulation, persuasion, and presentation. Yet the foundation of truly effective leadership communication lies in the ability to listen—not just hear but actively engage with what's being said. 

In this episode, we explore the profound difference between passive hearing and active listening, breaking down exactly what makes listening an active rather than passive process.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Indigenous Land Acknowledgment
• 0:59 Introduction to Active Listening
• 1:57 Components of Active Listening
• 4:07 Why Active Listening Matters
• 6:35 Midpoint Break and Listener Invitation
• 7:34 How to Practice Active Listening
• 12:36 Episode Closing and Next Steps

Transcript

Simon Kardynal: 0:07

I would like to begin this episode by acknowledging that I am located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and I am privileged and honoured to live and learn on the unceded, unsurrendered territory of the Anishinaabe Algonquin Nation.

Glen: 0:24

Hello, you're listening to Trench Leadership: A Podcast From the Front, produced by iGlen Studios, a show for emerging leaders from all professions, to hear from other leaders who have led from the front, made the mistakes, had the triumphs and are still learning along the way. And now here's your host, Simon Kardynal.

Simon Kardynal: 0:50

Hi everyone, and welcome to episode 110 of Trench Leadership: A Podcast From the Front, a podcast for emerging leaders across all professions. I'm your host, Simon Kardynal, and today we're delving into what I believe to be the most vital skill for any leader, active listening. We've all heard the saying communication is key, and there's good reason why we're constantly hearing this phrase, and it's because it's true. But what if I told you that effective communication starts with listening, that, as leaders, it's our responsibility to hear hear everything, not just the words that are being spoken. It's about being active in the conversations. It's about actively listening. Active listening is not just about hearing words. It's about understanding, interpreting and responding thoughtfully. So in this episode, we're going to break this all down and we're going to talk about active listening, what it is, why it matters and how you can cultivate this skill. And so I begin by suggesting that we answer the question what is active listening?

Simon Kardynal: 1:58

Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said. It involves more than just hearing the words. It engages the mind and requires an emotional component. So what are some of the components of active listening? Pay full attention In Daring Greatly. Have the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. Brene Brown talks about how being present means focusing on the speaker, making constant eye contact, not cutting off their sentences and, most importantly, not formulating a response until they have completed their thought, because, really, how can we have a response if we really haven't listened to everything they've said? The next thing is to have a solid reflection. Paraphrasing and reflecting on what the speaker said confirms your and their understanding of the information.

Simon Kardynal: 2:57

Rogers and Farson, in 2015, talked about their topic in the book Active Listening. In Carl Rogers', "onversations with Carl Rogers, they emphasize that without a clear understanding of what is being said, it's highly likely the intended message will get lost. And once you're doing all this, you have to clarify what's going on. So how do you ensure that what was said was fully understood? How do you ensure that you understood everything?

Simon Kardynal: 3:22

Ask questions. Asking questions every time and when you've asked a couple of questions, ask two more. Asking questions clarifies these points that you don't understand or, even more importantly, where you think you understand something but it turns out you really didn't. And the last thing is to have empathy. Being empathetic can be difficult. I get it, especially if you don't like the person or if you've already decided you don't like the topic or the idea. But here's the thing You're the leader. It's your job to be unbiased and take the time and be empathetic. It's not easy but too bad. This is your job. But now that we've listened to what active listening entails, let's discuss why it matters.

Simon Kardynal: 4:07

The first thing about active listening is that it builds trust In the Art of Listening. How Leaders Create Trust. Leadership development journal Batten in 2015 discusses how active listening fosters an environment of trust. Active listening fosters an environment of trust. Covi takes this one step further by explaining that when team members feel heard, they are more likely to share their ideas and concerns openly. And, as the leader, it's your job to create an environment where people feel as though they can safely share their ideas and thoughts.

Simon Kardynal: 4:36

The other thing about active listening is that it improves communication. It's no secret that effective leaders who practice active listening encourage a feedback loop that enhances team collaboration and reduces all those little misunderstandings that always happen. The other thing about active listening is that it provides for an enhanced problem solving. In HBR's 10 Must Reads on Collaboration, it discusses how good leaders understand the nuances of their team's challenges and, by using active listening, leaders can gather critical information and perspectives about their team members, enhancing their knowledge of what makes their team players tick and, in turn, helping them understand what motivates them and how to get the most out of their team members. The last thing about active listening is that it empowers teams. When a leader genuinely listens, truly, truly listens, their team members will feel heard and inevitably they'll feel empowered, valued, heard again and acknowledged. And this sweet spot is where leaders they get the most honest and frank conversations, which, of course, leads to increased motivation and productivity.

Glen: 5:48

Oh, hello there. It's Glen, the voiceover artist, and if you're hearing me, that means we're at the midpoint of this episode. Do you have an idea for an episode that you feel is vital for emerging leaders? Leave the idea in the comment section and, if your topic is chosen, you will have the opportunity to join us as a co-host during the recording session. So drop us a note and let's talk. This podcast is made possible by listeners like you, and if you feel we've earned it, please tell your friends and leave a review to help us grow our following. And now back to the show.

Simon Kardynal: 6:30

So, now that we've talked about what active listening is and why it matters, let's discuss how to practice. Let's discuss how to practice active listening. I mean, obviously, the first one is to be fully present. Being fully present is the foundation of active listening. It means dedicating your complete attention to the speaker and the conversation at hand, and folks, I know this is not easy. Most of us are programmed to start formulating an idea before we've heard everything. But if we stay there, if the person who is speaking knows that we are there the whole time, I promise you you will reap rewards of that that you won't even see coming. It's amazing.

Simon Kardynal: 7:08

The other thing to do this is to eliminate all kinds of distractions. Identify any distractions you have in your environment and minimize them. This means closing unnecessary tabs on your computer, silencing your phone, stepping away from a noisy workspace. It doesn't really matter. What you need is a distraction-free zone that tells both you and the speaker that this conversation is a priority.

Simon Kardynal: 7:32

The other thing is to be authentically mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of grounding yourself in the moment by focusing on your thoughts, feelings and surroundings without judgment. Cultivating mindfulness enhances your ability to be present. I recommend engaging in mindfulness preparation exercises such as deep breathing or brief meditation prior to any of your conversations. These type of exercises can help you clear your mind before a conversation. These type of exercises can help you clear your mind before a conversation. Personally, what I do is I make sure my phone is actually off, it's completely off, so that I can stay in that moment. And if I know it's going to be a long conversation or something difficult, or if I know I have other things going on in the back of my mind, I will go over my notes again just to make sure that I'm ready to go, and that helps set my mind for how I'm going to attack whatever this conversation will be.

Simon Kardynal: 8:26

The next thing is to adopt open body language. Nonverbal communication plays a significant role in expressing your presence. Face the speaker directly, maintain eye contact and let them finish their sentences. Open body language communicates that you are engaged and receptive and if you remember, earlier I talked about asking questions. Here's the thing when you're reading someone else's body language and you think they're closed off, ask the question. Just because their arms are crossed does not mean that they're closed to what's happening. Just because your arms are crossed doesn't mean that you're closed to happening, but think about what they might be thinking and then offer an explanation, because most often we're making an assumption about what we think. Ask the questions, talk to people and get it out there. Be active in what the conversation is about. The other thing is to learn to read body language. This skill is instrumental to being a successful active listener.

Simon Kardynal: 9:14

It's difficult, it takes practice and it takes a willingness to ask questions. There's a reason why I'm bringing it up twice. It's that important and in the beginning I recommend asking questions and when you've done asking questions, ask some more questions. If we don't, there are many, many challenges that will inevitably arise. It's, it's just the way it's going to be.

Simon Kardynal: 9:36

And if you've been a long time listener of the show, you'll have heard about my Garfield eyes and what those are. That is where I, when I'm really concentrating and quite often when I'm actively listening, I'm concentrating on the conversation. I get that furrowed over eyebrow and everyone often thinks that it means that I'm really angry or I'm not disagreeing, when all it really means is I'm concentrating. I not disagreeing when all it really means is I'm concentrating. I'm in the moment. So I've learned over time that when I'm about to go into a big conversation to explain to people. Hey, listen, it might look like I'm angry right now, or if you're getting that impression when I'm chatting with you, when you're speaking to me and I, my eyebrows are furring over, that's not me upset. All I'm simply saying is I am working hard to stay in this and I'm concentrating on what's happening. And if you think that's what's happening, tell me and we'll have a conversation and we'll figure it out. And it works out every time.

Simon Kardynal: 10:26

The other thing is to listen without formulating responses. The next point is to listen without formulating responses. I briefly touched on this point earlier, but it's so important I want to bring it up again. A common pitfall in conversations is thinking about what you want to say next rather than focusing on the speaker's message. Avoid interrupting their flow by planning your response while they are still talking. Instead, pause and allow the speaker to finish before gathering their thoughts. The other thing with this is to acknowledge your own thoughts. It's natural for your mind to wander during a conversation, considering your own experiences or opinions. When this happens, gently redirect your focus back to the speaker. You might acknowledge those thoughts internally, but consciously choose to set them aside for the moment. And again, I know it's not easy, especially in the beginning, and especially if you think you've already got everything formulated and figured out. But now is the time to stay in that moment and ensure the person who's talking to you gets all of your attention.

Simon Kardynal: 11:25

And while we talk an awful lot about active listening, it's also important to practice active engagement. Show that you are present, offer verbal acknowledgments such as I see or go on. It encourages the speaker and reinforces your focus on their message. Additionally, consider taking brief notes if appropriate. This can help solidify your understanding and attention without becoming a distraction, and that's what I often do. I take all kinds of notes and that's because I know that maybe something is important and I'll get moved on to the next important thing. So when I'm taking those notes, it helps me understand, to be able to go back and make sure I understood exactly what was said. It helps me ask better questions.

Simon Kardynal: 12:04

The last thing is remember always do the feedback loop, paraphrase or summarize the speaker's points to demonstrate that you're engaged and to clarify understanding Phrases like what I hear you saying is or so you're concerned about dot, dot, dot. Affirm that you are not just hearing their words, but that you are processing their content deeply, authentically and with the due consideration that it's required. Well, that's a wrap from the front. In this episode, we talked about active listening, what it is, why it's important and how to practice it. Folks, I promise making active listening a part of your leadership repertoire will enhance their overall leadership effectiveness and your overall leadership effectiveness, improving yourself and your team. Thanks for tuning in. And remember leadership without passion limits the depth of your vision.

Glen: 13:02

Never miss an episode by following us on all of your favorite feeds. While you're there, please consider leaving an episode review and let us know what topics you would like to hear about. Be sure to join us next week with your host, Simon Kardynal, for another episode of Trench Leadership: A Podcast From the Front, produced by iGlen Studios. Music provided by Ashamaluel Music.